天美传媒

Article by Samantha Stainburn
Illustrations by Einat Peled

A few years ago, received a call from a former manager, suggesting that she apply for a position that had just opened up at The World Bank in Washington, D.C., the international financial institution that provides loans to projects that are intended to improve the lives of the poor in developing countries.

The job, operations officer for the bank鈥檚 Sustainable Development unit, sounded perfect for Ms. Sobczynska, who was working at a nonprofit international development organization after earning a degree in international studies from Adelphi鈥檚 Honors College and a master鈥檚 degree in human rights and international development from Georgetown University.

Ms. Sobczynska has a passion for development work, having grown up in Poland during the years the country was transitioning from communism to democracy. There, she saw how economic and political change can improve lives.

鈥淭he job I was in was interesting, but I was doing mostly research, and I didn鈥檛 find I was using all the skills I鈥檇 acquired,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 wanted to be pushed.鈥�

But Ms. Sobczynska was also thinking about starting a family, and she wondered if it was too much to take on. Ultimately, she decided to ignore her fears and go for the job. 鈥淚 thought, 鈥業鈥檓 just going to do it and see how it works out,鈥欌�� she recalls.

It turned out to be the right choice. She loves her work, briefing senior managers for meetings and advising internal staff teams on how to incorporate sustainable practices into their projects. And when she had a baby about a year ago, the bank allowed her to take a five-month maternity leave, which made it possible for her to bond with her child before returning to work.

It hasn鈥檛 been easy, but Ms. Sobczynska鈥檚 happy to be working and parenting at the same time. 鈥淚鈥檓 following my passion,鈥� she says. 鈥淎nd having a family is an amazing experience. You really grow as a person when you become a parent.鈥�

Ms. Sobczynska鈥檚 leap of faith that she could figure out how to do both sets her apart from the many working women who start scaling back on time-intensive projects and passing on challenging job opportunities once they anticipate having children.

Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg calls this phenomenon 鈥渓eaving before you leave.鈥� In Lean In, her new book about what it takes for women to achieve their full potential, Ms. Sandberg argues that it鈥檚 one of several factors that prevent women from reaching top positions in companies and institutions.

The lack of women in the highest-level jobs is striking. More college degrees are awarded to women than men: In 2012, female graduates earned about 57 percent of all bachelor鈥檚 degrees and 60 percent of all master鈥檚 degrees. Women, however, hold only about 14 percent of executive officer positions in companies and lead just 21 of the Fortune 500 firms. Women occupy only 18 percent of seats in the U.S. Congress. Women lag behind in compensation too, making just 77 cents for every dollar men make.

During the feminist movement of the 1960s, 鈥�70s and 鈥�80s, when the institutional barriers holding women back from equal participation in the workforce were being dismantled, it seemed as if it was only a matter of time before women would be running half our companies.

As a director of human resources at DuPont in the 1980s, was on the frontlines of that fight, introducing policies and programs that made it easier for women to climb the ladder at the chemical company, including on-site child care, family leave and flexible work practices. Later, she oversaw 100 child care centers in federal buildings across 31 states as director of the Clinton administration鈥檚 Office of Workplace Initiatives and advocated for universal prekindergarten as president of the Child Care Action Campaign.

But today, Ms. Wohl says, progress on building up services to support working mothers has stalled.

鈥淲e haven鈥檛 built the infrastructure to support women,鈥� she says. 鈥淲e have lightly regulated child care options that are not integrated into a national education or health system, which they have in other countries.鈥� Interest in expanding and improving child care faded during the recent recession, she notes. 鈥淚n the short term, child care is not a priority of the government, and there is not a lot of money to invest in it.鈥�

Ms. Wohl is a believer in social and corporate support for working parents because, she says, 鈥淟ife is unplanned. You need support when something happens,鈥� whether it鈥檚 a sick child or a work emergency that requires you and your team to stay late in the office. Today, in the absence of social structures, she says, 鈥淓veryone has to work it out for themselves.鈥�

Given this landscape, what can be done to help more women rise to the top of their professions?

We asked Adelphi alumnae and academics who study workplace and family issues to share their best strategies for getting ahead.

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Ignore the Naysayers

It鈥檚 not a lack of ambition that causes women to scale back or ultimately drop out of the workforce, says Beverly Greene, M.A. 鈥�77, Ph.D. 鈥�83, a psychology professor at St. John鈥檚 University and a clinical psychologist.

鈥淲omen live in a sexist society, and there are realistic negative consequences to pursuing leadership positions in certain environments that women have to be prepared to tolerate,鈥� she says. 鈥淚f some people would choose not to tolerate that, it鈥檚 unfair to suggest they lack ambition. It鈥檚 actually healthy for people who are in no-win situations to get out if they can.鈥�

Women are presumed to be incompetent, Dr. Greene says. 鈥淪o there鈥檚 a way that one has to go in and prove oneself, even more than your male counterparts, which basically means you have to do more work.鈥�

Gordon F. Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies Professor Janice Steil notes that problems arise for women when they deviate from expected female behavior. Unfortunately, the stereotypical traits women are expected to display, like being warm and nurturing, are not the behaviors most prized in the workplace.

Dr. Steil did a study that examined what happened when men and women used direct and indirect strategies to accomplish tasks at work. In the workplace, direct strategies, like giving orders and confrontation, are considered more effective at getting business done than indirect strategies like smiling, suggesting or avoiding confrontation. Direct strategies are stereotypically associated with men and indirect strategies with women.

鈥淲hat we found was men were the most rewarded for using direct strategies in the workplace,鈥� Dr. Steil says. 鈥淲omen didn鈥檛 have negative outcomes for using direct strategies, but they didn鈥檛 have positive ones. They did have negative outcomes for indirect strategies. If you鈥檙e just smiling and suggesting, how are you going to demonstrate leadership? How are you going to get promoted? You can be indirect sometimes, but you鈥檙e not going to be perceived as a leader if you rely on that.鈥�

Women of color and low-income women have to battle additional stereotypes, making it even more difficult to get ahead, Dr. Greene says. 鈥淚f you are a member of a marginalized group, you are working harder because part of the work is neutralizing the reactions you elicit in people based on their belief of who you are.鈥� The struggle is reflected in the statistics: Women of color hold just 4 percent of executive officer jobs and 5 percent of congressional seats.

Simply being aware that our culture typically punishes women for being successful in the workplace can help women dismiss self-doubt and keep on pushing toward ambitious professional goals, both Dr. Steil and Dr. Greene say.

鈥淧eople who belong to a marginalized group have to understand that members of the dominant group may make problems for you, but you are not the problem,鈥� says Dr. Greene. 鈥淒on鈥檛 let someone else鈥檚 limited view define what you鈥檙e going to be in your life.

鈥淗aving grown up as an African American in the middle of the last century, I learned to expect that if I made choices that crossed certain lines, there were going to be people who didn鈥檛 like it,鈥� Dr. Greene adds. 鈥淚 want to be liked as much as anybody, but I decided I wasn鈥檛 going to organize my life around only doing what other people thought was okay.鈥�

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听Work with Mentors

took a finance and accounting job in the New York office of international law firm Latham & Watkins LLP a few years after earning her B.B.A. at the Robert B. Willumstad School of Business. She became chief operating officer of the entire firm before she hit 40, with three kids under age 8.

Today, she leads a team responsible for strategic leadership, financial management, technology integration, marketing and general administration at Latham, one of the world鈥檚 biggest law firms, with 2,100 lawyers and offices in 14 countries. It鈥檚 an exciting job, she says. 鈥淎s COO, basically you鈥檙e running a business. You鈥檙e leveraging many people and trying to improve client service, internally and externally.鈥�

So what鈥檚 the secret to her success? Ms. Black says she was helped by bosses who were supportive of her ambition and willing to give a younger woman opportunities to prove herself. 鈥淚n the legal industry, there are many firms where individuals don鈥檛 have a seat at the table, and I worked for somebody who was extremely inclusive,鈥� she observes.

To be successful in business, 鈥淵ou need mentors, people to look up to, people who are going to advocate for you,鈥� she says. 鈥淏ut it鈥檚 a two-way street. You have to be high quality and put in the time and really deliver. You can鈥檛 be afraid to work hard, and you can鈥檛 make excuses.鈥�

With three children, Ms. Black took steps to arrange her life so that she wouldn鈥檛 need to make excuses. She and her husband chose to live in Manhattan so it was easier to take the children to dentist appointments or watch them play sports than if they lived farther away from work. They found an extremely responsible sitter who was never late and then made sure she was happy enough to stay and look after their kids for 15 years. And if Ms. Black had to step away to attend to her children before the day鈥檚 work was done, she logged back into her computer after hours to finish it.

鈥淚t鈥檚 a lot of coming home at night and making sure homework is done, then you鈥檙e back on and you鈥檙e working,鈥� Ms. Black says.

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Find a Supportive Partner

A 2011 study by Richard Zweigenhaft of Guilford College and G. William Domhoff of the University of California, Santa Cruz, found that, of 28 women who had recently or currently held the job of CEO at a Fortune 500 company, 26 were married. (The 27th was divorced and the 28th never married.) Many of the female CEOs said they would not have succeeded if their husbands had not helped take care of the children, shared the household chores and showed a willingness to move.

Clearly, the person a woman picks as a partner can help her climb the career ladder鈥攐r derail her advancement.

Faith Wohl鈥檚 husband, who was 17 years older, volunteered to stay home with their two sons at a critical moment in her career, which allowed her to take necessary business trips. 鈥淗e was my pillar,鈥� she says. The person whom 鈥測ou marry is critical,鈥� she adds.

Ms. Black agrees. 鈥淚f you don鈥檛 have support at home, it鈥檚 a problem, because it鈥檚 just one more battle you鈥檙e dealing with,鈥� she says.

Ms. Black says her husband鈥檚 belief that she could climb the corporate ladder helped keep her in the game when she had doubts that juggling a high-powered career and young children was working out. 鈥淚 can remember saying, 鈥楢fter we pay the babysitter, and we take out taxes, I鈥檓 earning like $2, so is it worth it?鈥欌�� she recalls. 鈥淗e kept saying to me, 鈥極f course it鈥檚 worth it, because you can鈥檛 think about today, you have to think about where your career is going.鈥� 鈥�

, is general counsel, chief operating officer and corporate secretary for the New York Bankers Association, which represents more than 300,000 employees working at banks with more than $4 trillion in combined assets. After earning a teaching degree at the Ruth S. Ammon School of Education and an M.B.A. at the Robert B. Willumstad School of Business, she added a J.D. from Hofstra Law School while her son was a toddler.

When asked what鈥檚 helped propel her career, she says, 鈥淚 worked hard, and when I felt that I had an idea, I spoke up. I didn鈥檛 sit in the back and let the men monopolize the conversation.鈥� She also married the right person, she adds. 鈥淗e鈥檚 always considered my career as important as his, and he doesn鈥檛 begrudge my time away from the house,鈥� she says.

Two years after Ms. Kotkin became a mother of twin girls, she was named general counsel for Citicorp Card Establishment Services. Her husband, Lawrence Kotkin, Ph.D., is a psychologist whose office was attached to their house. His willingness to share housework and check in with the kids鈥攚ho were also looked after by a sitter on weekdays鈥攁llowed her to put in long hours in the office 鈥渨ithout angst,鈥� she says.

Dr. Kotkin says he was happy to take on a more equal share of the domestic work than many men of his generation because his wife鈥檚 success sent the right message to their three children. 鈥淲hat she represents is that you can do anything you want,鈥� he says. 鈥淭hat persistence wins, that you are only limited by your imagination and drive.鈥� He also believes she deserves to go as far as she wants to go in her career. 鈥淪he鈥檚 really smart,鈥� he says.

It鈥檚 important for career-oriented parents to work out a way to give their young children enough time, because developing relationships with one or two primary caregivers before ages 3 to 5 is critical for a child鈥檚 healthy development, says Marcy Sayfer, director of Adelphi鈥檚 Institute for Parenting.

鈥淗istorically, it was easy,鈥� she says. 鈥淭he men went out and women stayed home. Now we know it doesn鈥檛 have to be that way, but everybody can鈥檛 go out and work from seven a.m. to ten p.m.鈥�

On the positive side, increased sharing of home and child care tasks not only supports women鈥檚 employment, but it improves marriages, according to the Derner Institute鈥檚 Dr. Steil. 鈥淭he research is consistent鈥攖he more equal say you have in decision making, the more equally domestic tasks are shared, the better the relationship,鈥� she says. Dr. Steil鈥檚 own research has shown that the more equal the relationship, the more intimate the relationship. 鈥淲omen tend to do more of the work that creates intimacy鈥攆or example, they listen and ask questions to elicit conversation,鈥� she explains. 鈥淲hen men are primary caretakers and the women aren鈥檛 there, they become just as competent at child care, and they become better listeners to their wives as well.鈥�

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听Negotiate with Employers

Without national policies ensuring workplace benefits like paid time off or flexible work arrangements, the ability of employees to balance their work and home lives is very much dependent on their employers. That means picking the right employer is a critical step in getting ahead, observes MaryAnne Hyland, Ph.D., an associate professor of management, marketing and decision sciences at the Robert B. Willumstad School of Business.

鈥淩esearch shows a link between supervisor support and reduced work-life conflict,鈥� Dr. Hyland, who studies work-life balance, says. Therefore, ambitious women would be wise to seek work on teams led by managers who aren鈥檛 put off by flexible work arrangements, she says. They might be 鈥減eople who鈥檝e dealt with work-life matters and so understand what employees might need or managers who are outcome鈥揻ocused rather than face time鈥揻ocused,鈥� she says.

Some companies are willing to negotiate flexible work schedules for employees if the employees can make a good business case for the arrangement and show how they will accomplish the work. 鈥淚f a company wants to have the right talent in place, and it has an employee who wants to work flexibly, it鈥檚 in their best interest to implement the flexibility, at least on a trial basis,鈥� she says.

But not all jobs are flexible, Dr. Hyland cautions. 鈥淵ahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is discouraging telecommuting because it doesn鈥檛 promote collaboration,鈥� she notes.

Roberta Kotkin ran into that wall one summer when she was drawn into some mergers and acquisitions work at her company. 鈥淢y twins were five or six, and I wasn鈥檛 home almost the whole summer,鈥� she recalls. 鈥淚t was the worst summer of my life, and I said, 鈥楾his is not going to be my career path.鈥欌��

Struggling with the culture of a particular company or specialization doesn鈥檛 mean you have to scale back your ambitions, Ms. Kotkin notes. 鈥淭here are lots of jobs out there, and you can find a successful position that fits your needs. If you can鈥檛 be an executive vice president in one firm, it doesn鈥檛 mean you have to settle for being a manager. Maybe you can be an EVP in another firm. If you look around, you can find jobs that suit you.鈥�

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Dream Big

has had an important and busy career. The first in her family to go to college, she worked as a prosecuting attorney for the Manhattan district attorney鈥檚 office after graduating from Rutgers University School of Law in Newark, New Jersey, and then moved to the Bronx D.A.鈥檚 office, where she developed its community affairs initiative. Today she鈥檚 a principal court attorney for New York State, working for its Appellate Division First Department Departmental Disciplinary Committee, which investigates and prosecutes charges of unethical conduct committed by attorneys in the Bronx and Manhattan.

But she doesn鈥檛 want her 28-year-old daughter, a 2012 law school graduate, to do what she did鈥攕he wants her to dream bigger.

鈥淭he ambition for me was to get to college, get through college, get to law school, pass the bar and get a legal job. I accomplished it,鈥� she says.

But she believes she could have gone farther if she had simply had a bigger vision. 鈥淎s opposed to U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, who decided she wanted to be a federal court judge while she was at Princeton, getting a job was my end-all,鈥� she says.

The ambition gap between men and women is a real problem, Ms. Melendez says. 鈥淲omen don鈥檛 tend to think of themselves as leaders; we think of ourselves as foot soldiers,鈥� she says. 鈥淲e鈥檙e happy showing we can follow orders well.鈥� In order for more women to move into leadership positions, she says, 鈥淲e have to change our mind-set.鈥�

And once you decide to go after that director鈥檚 spot, you have to make a plan and work the steps, Ms. Melendez says. Choose where you work based on promotion possibilities and continually assess if you are on track.

When women do this, the sky鈥檚 the limit on what they can accomplish, she says.